Understanding Compassion
Compassion is the ability to recognize and empathize with the suffering of others or oneself, accompanied by a genuine desire to help alleviate that suffering. It goes beyond feeling sympathy or pity; compassion involves understanding, kindness, and often a willingness to take action to support or provide comfort. True compassion is rooted in empathy and respect, and it requires strength and emotional resilience to respond to suffering with care and without judgment.
In essence, compassion is about being present with someone’s pain, while offering support in a way that respects both their dignity and boundaries.
All to often many of us are really good at having empathy and compassion for others - what of ourselves? How many of us understand our own suffering brought about by expectations we have had of ourselves and others not being met? How well do you connect with the desire to heal and alleviate your own suffering? When last did you treat yourself with understanding, loving kindness, empathy and self respect?
The following pointers provide us with the insight as to what Self Compassion is so that we can treat ourselves in the manner in which we would care for and treat others - why? Because we are worth it!
Self Compassion...
Involves objective Self-Reflection, acknowledging your suffering and seeking objective understanding rather than pity or sympathy from others. It requires asking for steps to alleviate your suffering and taking responsibility for your healing.
Involves being self-sufficient in meeting your emotional needs without relying on others in a codependent way. It emphasises seeking empathy and understanding without expecting others to sacrifice their well-being for yours.
Means taking personal responsibility for breaking patterns of enabling negative behaviours, asking for support in making positive changes without expecting others to take responsibility for your actions.
Involves recognising and breaking free from the need to be rescued, embracing your own power and Self-Agency to create solutions and take responsibility for your challenges.
Requires the strength and courage to face your own suffering and challenges, recognising your vulnerability not a sign of weakness but a foundation of personal power.
Involves knowing and respecting your own boundaries in how you show up for yourself - what you will and won't engage in, as well as recognising when others may overstep. It’s about protecting your emotional space while offering and receiving help in a healthy, supportive way.
Requires practicing balanced self-care and setting healthy boundaries around your availability for others, ensuring that you care for yourself while being of service without sacrificing your own well-being.
And then there is understanding Compassion that we get to show to others...
Compassion...
Involves not only feeling empathy but also taking action to support others in their suffering, rather than feeling superior or pitying them. Care here is not to take over, enable or be responsible for another - it is a hand up and not a hand out!
Means offering understanding and empathy without sacrificing your own emotional well-being or creating unhealthy attachments and ensuring that there are reciprocal healthy boundaries in place.
Involves supporting others to overcome struggles and make positive changes, without enabling negative behaviours - a note of caution to the rescuers out there - enabling is not compassionate!
Respects others' autonomy by offering support without taking away their agency or imposing solutions on them. Key here is offering suggestions and not being offended if others do not take up what you have offered!
Requires strength and courage to face the suffering of others with kindness and empathy, rather than viewing it as a weakness or standing as judge and jury of them and their choices.
Involves respecting others' boundaries, ensuring that help is offered in a way that is supportive and does not impose on them.
Involves caring for others without self-sacrifice, maintaining your own well-being and balance by practicing self-care and setting healthy boundaries.
For more on the Gift of Compassion - please feel free to click through to this post. In addition, you will be able demystify What Compassion is Not from this post.
Should you wish to explore The Gift of Compassion as an active practice, there is a workbook for download at https://angelagailjames.com/tools-accessories
